


Forgive Me (If Things Change)

by tremuloides



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: /j, A little comfort, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I was going through it, M/M, Memory Loss, Multi, Not enough comfort, Polyamorous Character, Winged!Quackity, dont squint i will hate you, it was like three am, platonic if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 04:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30049839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tremuloides/pseuds/tremuloides
Summary: Karl, Sapnap, and Quackity aren't defined by their relationship. In fact, they keep each other almost at arm's length, despite being engaged. They keep their distance... until it hurts too much to.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 3
Kudos: 78





	1. The Traveler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inbetween calls Karl- a quest awaits.

Karl is going to be late.

He's found something in the Inbetween, and it could be big. It could be the clue he's been waiting for.

He's going to be late, and Sapnap and Quackity are going to wonder where he's been, but it'll be okay. He left a note. Obviously, there's the chance that if he stays he’ll forget them completely, but he’s careful about that. He memorizes patterns as a sort of insurance. He holds onto his fiances and their defining traits: Quackity with the beanie and wings, Sapnap with the white headband and fire in his eyes.

They’re too important to forget. In fact, he’s not even going to entertain the possibility of forgetting them.

Today is a day for exploring. the Inbetween calls his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it's short it gets better i promise


	2. The Businessman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sapnap calls Quackity to Kinoko Kingdom.

Quackity is busy.

He's caught up with negotiations for the vegas build, a tedious back-and-forth with Sam. They're finalizing a set of blueprints when he gets a call.

"Q?" Sapnap says.

"Hi babe, I’m doing business right now." Quackity nods in Sam’s direction, even though Sapnap can't see him.

"Can you come to Kinoko Kingdom? I- I need you."

"Can it wait a little bit? Like I said, I’m busy and-"

"Karl's gone." Sapnap interrupts, his voice catching in his throat, a rare moment of vulnerability. That's how Quackity knows something is wrong. "Please just... come home."

 _Shit._ Quackity thinks. "I'm on my way." He hangs up, tells Sam they'll have to cut it short for today.

Quackity begins to fly over, although his small duck wings can't get him very far off the ground. All the while, his thoughts run wild. _You were going to leave Sapnap alone. Karl was right. You value the money more than them._

He thinks back. Days ago, he and Karl had fought. It had started over what had seemed like nothing, or what Quackity had thought was nothing. It had ended up escalating quicker than Quackity ever imagined. What hurt the most was knowing that it was his own fault.

_"You should visit Kinoko Kingdom more often!" Karl says. He’s so excited. Quackity sees his face light up and can’t help but smile back._

_"I would, man, but I have shit to take care of. Sam and I... we have big plans."_

_"Still, it wouldn't hurt to stop by. We're your fiances, dude."_

_"Karl, what don't you understand? I'm trying to make things better for us. This Vegas project could bring in so much money. This is a good thing."_

_"Sapnap and I are good things too. It feels like you care more about this casino, this money, than us, and I don't like that._

_“I feel like you don't love me anymore, Quackity. I've given so much for you, and this is what you offer in return? You can't even look me in the eyes. I should be your top priority, Quackity." Karl tilts his head, ram horns catching the light._

_Ram horns..._

That was wrong.

The twisted memories shock Quackity back to his current state. He's still in the air. He's still on the way to Kinoko Kingdom. Karl is still missing. Sapnap is still waiting, alone.

The distance is long, the Big Innit Hotel to the nowhere-ass meadow Karl chose to build a new country, but Quackity manages to cross it in half an hour or so. He finds Sapnap standing outside Karls library. The grass at his feet is singed, his temperature having risen due to stress. Quackity remembers that Sapnap doesn't know about the fight he had with Karl. He decides not to tell him. There are more pressing matters at hand.

Sapnap opens his arms for a hug, but Quackity flinches away. Sapnap is still burning up, and Schlatt is still fresh in Quackity's mind. He should probably talk about it, but he doesn't. He might never. No matter how close he gets to his fiances, no matter how much things look like they might get better, there’s always the chance that they just won’t.

The last time Quackity trusted anyone wholeheartedly it was himself. He had faith in his own abilities for once, and it landed him a massive fucking scar down his face. He let BadBoyHalo have a little bit of his trust, and the stupid goddamn demon tried indoctrinating him into his chicken-spawn cult.

Given the circumstances, Quackity has learned that it’s better not to let anyone in. And yes, that means the people who have more or less promised to love him forever. Schlatt promised the same, once. Quackity tells himself that it’s subconscious, that it’s unintentional, but deep down he knows that he pushes Karl and Sapnap away on purpose. He tells himself that this time there will be no exceptions. This time it won’t be like the Schlatt administration, where he let himself grow a soft spot for the kid, Tubbo, and his charismatic colleague, Schlatt himself. It won’t even be like the New L’Manberg administration, where he let his personal biases in Tommy’s favor jeopardize the security of the country. This time he won’t reach out. He won’t let his guard down.

But of course, Quackity underestimates just how goddamn persuasive his fiances are, even when they’re not trying to be. The hurt look in Sapnap’s eyes tugs at Quackity's heart.

"Hi, Sapnap." Quackity offers a half smile. A shit apology, yes, but an apology nonetheless.

"Quackity," Sapnap's face breaks with relief. "We are in deep fucking shit."

Quackity laughs a little. The sound is clear and light, contrasting with the mood, and Sapnap begins to cool down. Together they enter Karl's library.

Books pile up on the floor. They’re searching anywhere they can find, looking for anything Karl left behind. Looking for Karl himself. The books don’t seem to be organized at all, and they aren’t even put on the shelf normally. Quackity doesn’t want to think of it as a possibility, but he knows the signs of a decaying mental state. He’s seen them firsthand, watched the man he used to love become a stranger.

Could it really happen again?

“Q, are you good?” Sapnap says, placing a hand on Quackity’s shoulder.

Quackity jumps. He’d zoned out, staring at a bookshelf, thinking of ram hybrids and shattered bottles of wine. “Jesus, Sapnap, you scared the shit out of me. But yeah. I’m okay. Thanks.”

“Quackity, I wanted to say that-”

“Sap, is there anywhere we haven’t searched yet? I haven’t been here in a while, I’m sorry.”

“There is… Karl’s private ‘chambers.’” Sapnap says hesitantly. If he feels any particular way about Quackity’s apology, he doesn’t show it.

“And I assume you know where they are, and you’re going to show me like a good boy?” Quackity curses himself for deflecting with humor, but the conversation showed signs of getting too serious, too trusting, and he didn’t know what else to do.

"Well, yes, but he told me never to go in there!" Sapnap says, opening a trapdoor.

"And you actually listened to him? I'm surprised." Quackity replies, already descending the ladder. More fucking humor. Of course.

* * *

It’s worse here. God, it’s so much worse. Karl’s descent into insanity is even more obvious in this secret room, probably because here he doesn’t have to hide it. There are posters hung messily on the walls, with people who Quackity doesn’t recognize, but they all bear strange similarities to those that he knows. The bookshelves here are even less organized. Most of the books look handwritten, journals with near-broken spines and torn pages. Quackity opens one and attempts to read it, but Karl’s clearly rushed handwriting is almost illegible. The dark lighting certainly doesn’t help, and neither does his bad eye.

It hurts so bad to see the same kind of madness happen again. It hurts even more to realize that this time, he really fucking wants to stop it.

Quackity acknowledges that it's tough being reminded of Schlatt and Wilbur, but this has got to be so much worse for Karl, who’s actually experiencing it. He looks at Sapnap through the corner of his eyes and sees the man's hands clenched tightly into fists. Quackity’s heart hurts again.

He reaches out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what even am i


	3. The Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sapnap struggles with the idea that nothing is the same anymore.

Sapnap is scared.

He's never been the type to admit his feelings out loud. He's never wanted to ask for help. But he did today, even though it feels almost too late. Regardless of the tension in their relationship, Karl is both his and Quackity’s. If Sapnap can't count on Quackity's support, what can he count on?

The answers used to be obvious. He could count on his best friends, Dream and George. He could count on his parents, BadBoyHalo and Skeppy.

Lately, nothing is the same.

Dream is in prison. Sapnap knows in the back of his mind that Dream deserves it, that he is unquestionably evil. He's even able to say to his face: _Dream, you deserve to be in here._ _Dream, I will take your last canon life._ Convincing himself is the harder part. There's still part of him that hopes that this is still the Dream that he grew up with. They've been through so much together. Sapnap has seen him change so many times that this just feels like another phase. But Sapnap knows that this Dream is a nightmare, and won't change anytime soon.

George is numb. He doesn't seem to like anything. He says yes mindlessly and is never fully present. Sapnap, Karl and Quackity try to get him involved, but nothing works. The most Sapnap remembers him caring is when they grew mushrooms together for Kinoko Kingdom, or maybe when he joked about breaking Dream out. But that was forever ago, and the George Sapnap first met is even further away. Sapnap thinks that George first changed when Dream got locked up, but it was probably before that, and he just didn’t notice. God, he feels like shit. 

BadBoyHalo and Skeppy are gone. They were lost to the egg months ago. Sapnap hates the egg. It's a manifestation of everything that could ever go wrong. It took his parents. And just like with George, he didn’t notice when things first started getting fucked up.

Why doesn’t he notice things anymore?

Karl and Quackity are all he has left. It's unbearable to imagine losing them too. So when Karl disappeared, Sapnap began to panic. It took all the self control he could muster not to burn down every bookshelf in the library in an attempt to find a clue. Instead he called Quackity, which instantly calmed him down.

It took a lot out of Sapnap to enter Karl’s private room. The way the latter had been so adamant that Sapnap was not to see the inside had, frankly, scared him shitless. After Dream, it was so difficult to do anything for himself. It only got scarier. Looking at the inside of Karl’s mind (because really, that’s what his chambers were) was terrifying. But he takes Quackity’s hand when he reaches out, and that helps. 

The three of them had been apart for too long. Quackity was always working, and Karl was doing… whatever. Sapnap missed his boys so much. If it took this hellish experience to bring them back together, permanently this time, maybe it would be worth it.

Now they've found the note. In true Karl fashion, it was hidden in plain sight, inside the only chest in the room and titled “READ THIS!”. Quackity lets go of Sapnap’s hand and picks up the journal, hands shaking.

"Can you-" Quackity clears his throat. "Can you read it out loud?"

 _Oh_. Quackity's eyesight hasn't been the same since his fight with Technoblade that left a scar running through his eye. Sapnap hadn't realized what this meant for Q's reading until now.

"No, yeah, of course." Sapnap says, taking the book. He sits on the floor against a bookshelf. Quackity sits beside him, pressed against his right side.

This touch is an apology, one that Sapnap understands. The three of them have always been better with touch than words. It makes more sense this way. Soundlessly, Quackity says: "I'm sorry I haven't been around. I'm sorry I wasn't going to come when you asked me to."

Sapnap presses a kiss to the top of Quackity's head, and just like that he's forgiven. Sapnap turns his head to the journal in his hands and begins to read aloud.

 _Hi, loves._ Karl writes.

 _If you're reading this, I've probably been missing_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the way this would all be solved if they communicated LMAOOO or they could. not.


	4. The Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl writes a note.

If you’re reading this, I’ve probably been missing.

I'm really sorry about that.

I didn't know I would be gone so long when I left. There are important things that we need to talk about, questions you'll definitely have once you're done reading this. I need to answer them. Obviously. But first things first: are you two safe? Have you eaten well? I love you both.

Important details: I am a time traveler. I can't control when I travel, or when I get back. That's why I wrote this, in case I miss a lot. I probably will miss a lot. I wouldn't leave you by choice. I hope you know that. Also, I am losing my memories and I wanted to tell you this in person but I don’t know if I’ll remember to. Please remind me? God, that hurt to write. I’m so sorry.

I don’t want to forget you guys. I really don’t. I’m sorry if this makes you sad, please don’t be sad. If when I come back, you’re worried about me, just yell at me until I remember. I probably deserve it.

Quackity, I hope you don't blame yourself for when I snapped at you the other day. You didn't deserve that. Even though I was right. I hope you've visited Kinoko Kingdom of your own accord before you read this. I think you'd like the new stuff.

We really need to talk about this. I think that because I’m writing this instead of saying it out loud I’m acting more formal. I know I don’t need to be like this with you. I know you, and I trust you, and I hope you trust me. I hope you trust me enough to believe what I’m saying. I know that we’ll get through this. I love you both so so so much.

I don’t want this life or this power. But I have it anyway, and I have to use it well. I will use it to protect us, as long as I remember to. We can figure this out.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOO ALMOST DONE BABEY


	5. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They begin to move forward.

_I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you._

A single tear falls onto the paper. _Fucking poetic._ Sapnap thinks. _Of course he doesn’t tell us about this shit. He’s always got to take it on all by himself. And he disappears but he tells us he loves us so it's supposed to be fine. I thought he was dead. I thought he was dead._

Sapnap wants to scream. He wants to tear the rest of the books from the shelves, and then tear the shelves from the walls. He wants to rip down these stupid fucking posters that cover the walls, where Karl stares so fucking lovingly into the eyes of a man who looks just like Sapnap, only it isn’t him. Of fucking course it’s not him, because right when he has a Good Thing it’s taken from him.

But Sapnap doesn’t do any of those things, because he looks down and realizes that his other fiance is fast asleep on his chest. Quackity’s shoulders are finally free of stress. His wings are relaxed. Somehow, even his scar looks less angry, and all of a sudden Sapnap isn’t angry either.

All he feels is love for his fiances, although they’re fucking stupid. He sighs, breath making Quackity’s yellow feathers flutter, and closes his eyes.

* * *

Hours later, Karl returns from the Inbetween. He steps through the portal, into his chambers. He immediately sees Sapnap and Quackity asleep on the floor, a half-read journal on Quackity’s left. He’s relieved to realize that he hasn’t forgotten them. He recognizes the pattern! Sapnap is wearing the beanie, bright yellow wings folded against his back. Quackity has the white headband. 

Karl is overcome with so much love for them. He remembered them this time! Maybe that’s a sign that everything will be okay. Today he found the clue that he was looking for, in the Inbetween, but it only revealed that there’s still more to discover. He’ll have to go back one day. As he looks around his chambers, he sees that the floor is messy with books. Kicking some around, he sits down beside Quackity. The floor is uncomfortable but right now Karl is content to lay his head on his fiance’s broad shoulder and put his thoughts aside.

They’ll talk in the morning. Karl falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello karlnapity nation. i have so much brainrot. take it. wedding stream when???


End file.
